You Might Be An Engineer If...

- You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
- You enjoy pain.
- You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
- You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force".
- You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
- It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
- You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver".
- You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
- You think in "math".
- You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
- You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
- You have a pet named after a scientist.
- You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
- The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
- You can translate English into Binary.
- You can't remember what's behind the door in the engineering building which says "Exit".
- You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
- You are completely addicted to caffeine.
- You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
- You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy".
- When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
- The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
- You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
- The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
- You bring a computer manual / technical journal as vacation reading.
- The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
- You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.
- You're in line for the guillotine... it stops working properly... and you offer to fix it.
- You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.
- You have any "Dilbert" comics displayed in your work area.
- You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
- You have never backed up your hard drive.
- You haven't bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
- You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
- You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
- You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
- You've ever calculated how much you make per second.
- Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
- You understood more than five of these jokes.
- You make a copy of this list, and post it on your door (or your home page !)

- The world does revolve around us... We pick the coordinate system.
- Find out what those other buttons on your calculator do.
- We know how to handle stress and strain in our relationships.
- Parents will approve.
- Help with your math homework.
- Can calculate head pressure.
- Looks good on a resume.
- Free body diagrams.
- High starting salary.
**Extremely good looking!**

- T-shirt and jeans are their formal dress. Hot dog and a six-pack is their seven-course meal.
- The only social life known of is to post and talk on the net.
- Flames like a monster and speaks like a pussycat.
- Works from 6:30am to 7:30pm daily. No morning kisses and no evening walks.
- No matter how hard you cry and how loud you yell, he just sits there calmly discussing your emotion in terms of mathematical logic.
- Only listens to classic rock. Hates everything from Bach to Prince.
- Touches his car more often than you.
- Talks in acronyms.
- Can't leave that damn pencil off his ear for a minute.
- Will file a divorce if you call him in the middle of debugging.